Surreal Visit To Sloan

We are off to Sloan again, this time to meet with the medical oncologist. We were there two weeks ago to meet with the sarcoma specialist for a second opinion. I agreed to go to appease my husband, Larry and my surgeon even though I am completely opposed to chemotherapy because of it’s low rate of success with this type of cancer,

It was surreal walking into Sloan Kettering for myself, for MY cancer. They got a wheelchair for me and Larry wheeled me into the elevator. As the elevator stopped at the next floor, a woman who appeared to be distressed walked in. She looked down at me sitting in the wheelchair and said to me in a sad and disbelieving voice, ” I have cancer”.

I could not produce any words to console her or myself. All I could do was stare ahead and fight back the tears that were ready to pour out of me. I fought the urge to stop the elevator and wheel my chair as fast as I could out of there. How could I be there for ME… could I be one of THEM now???

While informative, our visit with the oncologist did not provide me with any solid evidence that could sway the decision about chemo that I had already made. She told me that while the studies on sarcomas are broad and cover all of the sub types (there are at least 70), the studies were approximately 20 years old and did not show a significant improvement with the utilization of chemotherapy. She did express concern over the fact that my type of sarcoma is aggressive and could potentially grow as quickly in my lungs as it did in my leg if it metastasizes there. Sadly, this proved to be another eye opening, gut wrenching day.

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