Staying Hopeful In Uncertain Times
Posted On April/2017
How appropriate that I returned to work the day after Easter (Monday April 17th 2016) Easter, a time for resurrection…new beginnings and of course spring. We celebrated Easter with a nice brunch at my son Dave’s house then did some gardening when we got home. It was so wonderful to be outside and feeling well while holding the earth in my hands. I was apprehensive yet excited about returning to work….it had been almost 6 months since I had been there. As the day progressed, I began to feel tired and my leg felt full. I went to sit down and saw that my foot was swollen like a balloon. In fact, my entire leg was swollen. How could this happen on the night before I was to return to work?!
I got up early on Monday and got ready trying to find work clothes that would fit my leg. My vanity caused me to foolishly think that I could wear high heels! Since I was so comfortable wearing my many pairs in the past, (I could even run in heels!) I didn’t think that they would be a problem. Thus, I mourned the loss of my ability to wear my favorite high heels.
My return to work was an emotional one; it was surreal as if I had never left except that now I needed a cane to walk. Had it not been for my swollen leg, the past 6 months would have seemed like a bad dream. I sifted through the many emails that I had accumulated. Although I was home on disability, I still checked my emails from work but there were still so many to go through.
Co-workers welcomed me back and it felt good until someone asked me how was I ever going to be able to do my job and kindly suggested that I consider getting a clerical job. She meant no harm but it still hurt and made me question that myself. Fortunately, my managers assured me that I had nothing to worry about and that we would find a way to make it work. That helped until I got home and collapsed in tears over my swollen leg and the undeniable possibility that I may not be able to do my job. It was then that I remembered my mantra…I’ve got the power!
As the timing of the Universe would have it, I received an email notifying me that it was time for Oprah and Deepak’s 21 day meditation on being hopeful in uncertain times. It’s the little things like that that help keep me grounded, reinforces my faith and keeps me going.