Back To Reality

I had a good weekend; some friends came by for an impromptu barbecue on Saturday. We sat outside and after dinner we lit a fire in the chiminea. The backyard looked amazing; huge ten foot tall sunflowers abundantly surrounded by an assortment of flowers creating a rainbow of color. …it’s the backyard that I always wanted.

On Sunday Larry & I went kayaking on the Swimming River. It was beautifully tranquil, we just floated, drank a couple of beers and chilled.

Today I’m having a hard time…I’m in physical pain and I’m still adapting to having these moments of “what the hell happened to me”? Moments when everything just hits me; I put on a brave front but sometimes it’s difficult.

I had to call today to make the next PET Scan appointment and it dawned on me that the summer of fun is almost over and now it’s back to reality. I really tried to choose to focus on the good and make the most of it. We sailed, kayaked, took Parker fishing and enjoyed our garden. I even got to hike a little with the help of my old ski poles and it felt fantastic!

It was a good summer but every now and then the realization of it all gets to me. It’s scary, it hurts and I’m tired.

I saw my primary care doctor who said that my inflammatory markers are high and it’s affecting my fatigue and pain level. I know I will be OK; I’m just having another moment, that’s all.

So, I believe, I trust and I let it go…that’s my new mantra.

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