This past weekend I found a backpack in the rear of my closet that I hadn’t seen in a long time. When I opened it, I found my running gear that I had packed away. My Aerosmith baseball cap, running shoes etc. I also found my beloved No Fear baseball cap. The hat that I used to wear with pride while running through the streets of Freehold and Red Bank when I was on my own trying to stay strong. I would tell myself that there was no fear within me (even if there was!) Finding that hat reminded me of that chapter of my life….my running days.
Finding my gear was difficult; like finding an old photo that reflected a part of my old life; a part of the old, resilient, Cally. It’s as if that part of me died. It was such an important part of my life; almost how I identified myself.
Running was my passion. I would run to the beat of the music and get lost in my thoughts. It was an outlet that helped release stress and stamina. I would often push myself to go a bit further each time and I applied that self discipline to persevere in my daily life.
Sometimes I would run with a smile on my face because I felt invincible. There were other times (like when Sue passed) that I would cry as I ran but then I would feel better and strong again.
I used to love to run with my boy, Kramer. The boxer that we rescued who rescued us. As soon as he saw me get my sneakers, he would get so excited. All I had to do was ask him, “Do you want to run”? and he would go nuts. He always kept up with me and sometimes I would sing to him as we ran. Our favorite song was “Sheena is a punk rocker” by the Ramones only I would sing it to him and replace the words with, Kramer is a great boxer. Whenever I hear that song, it brings me back to those days so does Bron- Y-Aur-Stomp by Led Zeppelin. It makes me smile when I think about it.
Finding research about mobile device radiation and cancer has really got me angry. I’m upset thinking about how my laptop may have caused the tumor in my leg which took away my ability to run.
No matter what I was feeling as I was running, I always thanked God for my lungs and my legs…I still do.