Once A Twin…Always A Twin

My birthday was last Wednesday; it was a very emotional day filled with mixed emotions. Being “twinless” on your birthday when you are a twin doesn’t make you feel like celebrating.

However, this year is a bit different. While I am feeling sad missing Sue, I am also grateful to be alive after all that I have been through. I spent time with my family including my niece, (Sue’s daughter) Lee and her girls which was awesome. Instead of grieving, we decided to share funny stories about my sister; I know that’s what she wants.

She gives me many signs to let me know that she is with me which isn’t a surprise. Even when she was here, we both thought the same things at the same time, bought the same clothes even when we shopped individually and didn’t need words to know what the other was thinking.

I still write a birthday card every year to Sue. My life will never be the same without her. I had a dream about her last night for the first time in over a year and it was wonderful. I dreamt that she was hugging me while I was crying. I was talking with her about how we both had cancer and she comforted me…it was the best birthday present.

The one regret that I have is that I took having her around for granted. I always thought that she would be here growing old with me. In fact, we used to joke about living together as old women.

When people ask how many brothers and sisters do I have, I still say that I’m a twin. She is still a very big part of me and always will be.

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