Faith Family And Friends

Yesterday would have been my parent’s 70th wedding anniversary. It was also time for my quarterly Pet Scan.

I was feeling kind of sad and lonely thinking about Susie; how I would sit with her during her treatments only now it’s me sitting alone. As my mind wandered, the technician came in with a metal box that said “radioactive” containing the vile that they will inject me with.

It’s scary knowing that radiation is very likely responsible for the cancer that I had and I’m constantly thinking about my mortality. I kind of feel like I have one foot in the grave. I have to snap out of it because I dove into a deep depression the past couple of months and am fighting to stay strong.

Monday I go to the doctor to hopefully hear that there are no new tumors. I try to prepare myself mentally for the acceptance of death and the peace that I want to have about it instead of panic.

It’s ironic; I’ve been such a spiritual person; I meditate, pray and have a strong faith. I never thought that I would be scared. Deep down in my heart, I know that when it is my time, I will be reunited with Daddy, Susie and other loved ones who have passed.

I don’t know how I could ever get through this without my faith, my family and my friends.

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