Faith Family And Friends
Posted On December/2017
Yesterday would have been my parent’s 70th wedding anniversary. It was also time for my quarterly Pet Scan.
I was feeling kind of sad and lonely thinking about Susie; how I would sit with her during her treatments only now it’s me sitting alone. As my mind wandered, the technician came in with a metal box that said “radioactive” containing the vile that they will inject me with.
It’s scary knowing that radiation is very likely responsible for the cancer that I had and I’m constantly thinking about my mortality. I kind of feel like I have one foot in the grave. I have to snap out of it because I dove into a deep depression the past couple of months and am fighting to stay strong.
Monday I go to the doctor to hopefully hear that there are no new tumors. I try to prepare myself mentally for the acceptance of death and the peace that I want to have about it instead of panic.
It’s ironic; I’ve been such a spiritual person; I meditate, pray and have a strong faith. I never thought that I would be scared. Deep down in my heart, I know that when it is my time, I will be reunited with Daddy, Susie and other loved ones who have passed.
I don’t know how I could ever get through this without my faith, my family and my friends.