Feeling Better

I’m definitely feeling better than I did since I last wrote; the gym has been really therapeutic for me. So have the anti-depressants that my doctor prescribed.  On my last visit to see Dr. Patterson, I told him that I was having a difficult time and felt like I was experiencing PTSD. He said that It is not uncommon to feel this way. Talking about it and getting help should not have a stigma attached to it. I’m so grateful that I feel comfortable enough to speak with Dr. Patterson and his assistant Allyson about this. Between the medication and working out, I really am feeling so much better and more like my old self.

My trainer, Liz, is fantastic and really kicked my butt; it was great! I don’t have the same stamina or endurance that I had before but I can feel that it is slowly coming back. I just need to give it more time.

This past Monday was my third session with her. Another cancer survivor named Rebecca joined us for the work out. I was glad that she joined us because now Liz wasn’t focusing only on me so I got a little bit of a break!

I went back today to work out on my own and use the pool where I do my own water exercises. The water makes it easier to do legwork and the compression of the water is good for the swelling in my leg.

I met a beautiful woman there named, Jewel. We met while we were both doing our physical therapy exercises in the pool. She’s in her 70’s and reminds me of Mrs. Claus with her beautiful white hair, rosy cheeks and motherly demeanor. As fate would have it, her brother in law was diagnosed with the same type of cancer as me 5 years ago and he is doing very well.  It seemed that it was meant to be for me to meet her. Hearing about her brother in law made me very happy and relieved.

We have seen each other several times in the pool and I miss not seeing her when she’s not there. I feel as though God sent me an angel.

I’m doing the best that I can but I’m scared; I have to go for my scan in the next couple of weeks and I don’t know if I can handle working full time.

I also got my first pair of open toe compression stockings today ….yay!!!! I was able to wear flip flops and paint my toes! I am determined and on a mission to not have to wear this damn compression stocking in the summer!

I’m keeping a positive attitude and am starting to sleep a little better although I still need to take something to help me sleep. Sometimes I take a prescribed medication but I mostly try to just use Melatonin.

This has been a long road to recovery; having a good attitude along with patience will help get me through this.

Along with patience and positivity, I have mantras that help motivate me such as:

I’ve got the power (just like the song bam bam bam bam)
My prognosis is good!
Mine is a success story; not a tragedy and my favorite:
I’m a survivor not a victim!

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